If you haven’t seen these yet, hope you enjoy!
- I don’t need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off!
- Old age is coming at a really bad time!
- The biggest lie I tell myself is … “I don’t need to write that down, I’ll remember it.”
- I don’t have gray hair. I have “wisdom highlights.” I’m very wise.
- My people skills are just fine. It’s my tolerance to idiots that needs work.
- The kids text me “plz,” which is shorter than please. I text back “no” which is shorter than “yes.”
- Even duct tape can’t fix stupid… but it can muffle the sound!
- Why do I have to press “1” for English when you’re just gonna transfer me to someone I can’t understand anyway?
- Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.
- At my age “getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what I came in here for.
- Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven’t met yet!
- Wouldn’t it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes; come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller!
