3 Things Thursday: Exuberant, Uplifted and … Lonely in a Crowd

3 Things Thursday: Exuberant, Uplifted and Lonely in a crowd

I know these three things don’t seem to go together… but last Wednesday night — and quite a few Wednesdays before that — I felt all these emotions during the course of an hour. Have you ever been lonely in a crowd?

I’m a big Zumba fan, and the class I always attend is on Wednesday after work at the rec center in a nearby island resort community.

Am definitely not the greatest dancer out there — and sometimes the new routines throw me a little — but in general, the class is really fun. The music and dancing are uplifting and they make me feel exuberant. The teacher gives great cues so it’s easy to follow.

There’s just one problem.

The participants in this class — except for the teacher (who’s always nice; everyone wants to take to her) — are incredibly unfriendly. I’ve tried repeatedly, but nobody ever talks to me. (And I don’t think I’m socially inept…)

Many of the women live on “the island” where the rec center is; they’re mostly rich and retired or stay-at-home wives. Others in the class know each other because they also take tango classes from the same teacher. So that explains some of it.

But no matter how I try to “chat up” the women around me and get to know them, they’re ice cold.

It really just makes me feel sad — the rare time that feeling ever happens in my busy, fun life — to the point that I try to get there at the last minute to avoid “standing alone and feeling-left-out” syndrome waiting for the class to begin.

Last night, when the class was over, everyone else paired off in groups to talk and I went out the door first, turning to politely hold the door open for the next woman to grab. Instead, all of the women continued gaily chatting with each other and — one by one — walked through the door I was holding open, ignoring me and not grabbing the door or saying thank you or even making eye contact — which made me feel like both a doorman and doormat.

That made me realize I need to find a new class where someone will be nice to me!

Do you ever encounter situations like this? What’s the solution?

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