Online Dating Horror Story #4: A Deli Emergency

Online Dating Horror Story #4: A Deli Emergency

I once met a man from an online dating site for a Coke at a local restaurant. His profile said he was an engineer — and I envisioned a well-educated professional. Since I was married to, and normally date, blue-collar guys, I was kind of excited.

When my “date” began his monologue, he told me he was an engineer in a hotel — the guy who fixes things that break. OK.

He also said he had a second job since he was in a bad financial situation and that he worked in the deli at a local grocery store.

Then he kept talking.

He talked and talked and talked and talked some more. I politely smiled and nodded, saying “um hum” and showing interest while he didn’t pause to take a breath. He never once asked me a single thing about myself, so I didn’t get to utter a single sentence.

After 45-60 minutes of non-stop oration, his cell phone (mercifully) rang. He answered and said it was an urgent call from his boss — not on his “real” job at the hotel — but at the BiLo deli. He had to leave immediately to handle a deli emergency …  (What? They ran out of ham?)

And I (gleefully) watched him rush away …

So much for my fantasy of enjoying a stimulating conversation with a brainy engineer in a suit and tie. This was more like meeting a man wearing an apron and a plastic deli cap who just returned from a desert island and hadn’t talked to anyone  for a month.

When he contacted me to go out again, I declined.


Other bad date posts:

Online Dating Horror Story #1: Don’t Be Cruel

Online Dating Horror Story #2: Way Too Hairy

Online Dating Horror Story #3: Thunder and Lightning

Online Dating Horror Story #5: First Date with a Doctor and his Son at a Swimming Pool

Online Dating Horror Story #6: A Walk on the Beach Goes Terribly Wrong

Online Dating Horror Story #7: You Live WHERE?

Online Dating: Dealbreakers

Internet Dating Scams

Online Paper Bag Speed Dating: Would You Do It?

Dilemma: Old Flames in Family Photos

NOT a Happy Camper

GOOD Dating Stories:

Dating a Much Younger Man

Memories of Good Times with Tom (We Met, We Laughed, We Acted Like Third-Graders)



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16 Responses to Online Dating Horror Story #4: A Deli Emergency

  1. Carolann says:

    oh boy….you got lucky losing this loser! great story lol

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  13. Jane says:

    Do you have any idea how arrogant this makes you sound? I am aghast that you think this is okay to put other people down in this manner.

    What on earth is wrong with a man working two jobs to make an honest living? You would be happy to have him around when things need fixing but I doubt he has the skills required to fix your attitude.

    And just a heads up….often people on these kinds of dates will have a friend call them so that they can make up an “emergency” excuse to get away gracefully from a bad date if they choose to.

    If he never called you again you could assume that perhaps he had already decided that YOU were not good enough for him.

    • blogqueendiane says:


      I’m sorry if I struck you as being arrogant in this blog post. That wasn’t my intention at all.

      Since I had a headache the rest of the day after reading your comments, felt ready to cry and am debating whether it’s worthwhile to continue blogging — in the interest of transparency — I’m approving your comments and responding.

      As a little background — the man I was married for 17 years to a man worked as a laborer in a steel mill, another man I had a five-year relationship with was a water/sewage worker, and the last man I loved and was with for five years was a truck driver. I have nothing against any man who makes an honest living. I certainly don’t mean to sound arrogant, snobby or condescending about what this man — or any man — does or how many jobs he works.

      Apparently, I wasn’t clear enough and focused on the wrong things in this post — but the primary reason this date was horrible was because the man sat down, began to talk, and talked and talked and talked for the entire 45-60 minutes we were there — about himself. He never once asked me a single question about myself (!) — which is why I mentioned the monologue and being grateful it ended. I thought it was an extremely self-centered and rude thing to do — no matter what he did for a living. And if he’d been a thoughtful, kind and nice person — no matter what he did for a living– everything would’ve been fine.

      The details in this post were my (maybe not-so-clever) attempt to make the basic story about the unending one-way “conversation” entertaining. However, this post got 1,100 hits today and you and two others wrote to chastise me so I obviously went astray.

      You pointed out that maybe he wanted to get away from me. It is possible he didn’t like the way I looked (although my recent photo on the web site looked exactly like I do). I did have that happen for sure on a blind date once (when I happened to be on crutches with a broken leg and the man was driving an expensive convertible sports car).

      But since I didn’t get a chance to say a single sentence on this particular meeting, and since he had the pleasure of talking about himself for so long (kind of like a free psychotherapy session), with me politely smiling, nodding and say “um hum” at appropriate times as he never took a breath, I kind of doubt he’d artificially set himself up to be called away in that situation.

      He actually did contact me to go out again, too, but I chose not to.

      I reworded this blog post to emphasize the “monologue” part more.

  14. Erica says:

    Omg… You sound waaaay to good for this guy. I mean, he works two jobs doing manual labor? Ugh. He fixes things in a hotel as an “engineer”? What a loser. His union engineering job probably pays him around $27/hr, with a sweet pension and full benefits.. He must be some sort of dummie. What a joke! Good for you for not going out on a second date. I know your anecdote was just a “bad date” tale meant to be funny, but it did come off a little snobby.. I hope you found someone who is more on your level.

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