I once met a man from an online dating site for a Coke at a local restaurant. His profile said he was an engineer — and I envisioned a well-educated professional. Since I was married to, and normally date, blue-collar guys, I was kind of excited.
When my “date” began his monologue, he told me he was an engineer in a hotel — the guy who fixes things that break. OK.
He also said he had a second job since he was in a bad financial situation and that he worked in the deli at a local grocery store.
Then he kept talking.
He talked and talked and talked and talked some more. I politely smiled and nodded, saying “um hum” and showing interest while he didn’t pause to take a breath. He never once asked me a single thing about myself, so I didn’t get to utter a single sentence.
After 45-60 minutes of non-stop oration, his cell phone (mercifully) rang. He answered and said it was an urgent call from his boss — not on his “real” job at the hotel — but at the BiLo deli. He had to leave immediately to handle a deli emergency … (What? They ran out of ham?)
And I (gleefully) watched him rush away …
So much for my fantasy of enjoying a stimulating conversation with a brainy engineer in a suit and tie. This was more like meeting a man wearing an apron and a plastic deli cap who just returned from a desert island and hadn’t talked to anyone for a month.
When he contacted me to go out again, I declined.
***
Other bad date posts:
Online Dating Horror Story #1: Don’t Be Cruel
Online Dating Horror Story #2: Way Too Hairy
Online Dating Horror Story #3: Thunder and Lightning
Online Dating Horror Story #5: First Date with a Doctor and his Son at a Swimming Pool
Online Dating Horror Story #6: A Walk on the Beach Goes Terribly Wrong
Online Dating Horror Story #7: You Live WHERE?
Online Paper Bag Speed Dating: Would You Do It?
Dilemma: Old Flames in Family Photos
GOOD Dating Stories:
Memories of Good Times with Tom (We Met, We Laughed, We Acted Like Third-Graders)
oh boy….you got lucky losing this loser! great story lol
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Do you have any idea how arrogant this makes you sound? I am aghast that you think this is okay to put other people down in this manner.
What on earth is wrong with a man working two jobs to make an honest living? You would be happy to have him around when things need fixing but I doubt he has the skills required to fix your attitude.
And just a heads up….often people on these kinds of dates will have a friend call them so that they can make up an “emergency” excuse to get away gracefully from a bad date if they choose to.
If he never called you again you could assume that perhaps he had already decided that YOU were not good enough for him.
Ouch.
I’m sorry if I struck you as being arrogant in this blog post. That wasn’t my intention at all.
Since I had a headache the rest of the day after reading your comments, felt ready to cry and am debating whether it’s worthwhile to continue blogging — in the interest of transparency — I’m approving your comments and responding.
As a little background — the man I was married for 17 years to a man worked as a laborer in a steel mill, another man I had a five-year relationship with was a water/sewage worker, and the last man I loved and was with for five years was a truck driver. I have nothing against any man who makes an honest living. I certainly don’t mean to sound arrogant, snobby or condescending about what this man — or any man — does or how many jobs he works.
Apparently, I wasn’t clear enough and focused on the wrong things in this post — but the primary reason this date was horrible was because the man sat down, began to talk, and talked and talked and talked for the entire 45-60 minutes we were there — about himself. He never once asked me a single question about myself (!) — which is why I mentioned the monologue and being grateful it ended. I thought it was an extremely self-centered and rude thing to do — no matter what he did for a living. And if he’d been a thoughtful, kind and nice person — no matter what he did for a living– everything would’ve been fine.
The details in this post were my (maybe not-so-clever) attempt to make the basic story about the unending one-way “conversation” entertaining. However, this post got 1,100 hits today and you and two others wrote to chastise me so I obviously went astray.
You pointed out that maybe he wanted to get away from me. It is possible he didn’t like the way I looked (although my recent photo on the web site looked exactly like I do). I did have that happen for sure on a blind date once (when I happened to be on crutches with a broken leg and the man was driving an expensive convertible sports car).
But since I didn’t get a chance to say a single sentence on this particular meeting, and since he had the pleasure of talking about himself for so long (kind of like a free psychotherapy session), with me politely smiling, nodding and say “um hum” at appropriate times as he never took a breath, I kind of doubt he’d artificially set himself up to be called away in that situation.
He actually did contact me to go out again, too, but I chose not to.
I reworded this blog post to emphasize the “monologue” part more.
Omg… You sound waaaay to good for this guy. I mean, he works two jobs doing manual labor? Ugh. He fixes things in a hotel as an “engineer”? What a loser. His union engineering job probably pays him around $27/hr, with a sweet pension and full benefits.. He must be some sort of dummie. What a joke! Good for you for not going out on a second date. I know your anecdote was just a “bad date” tale meant to be funny, but it did come off a little snobby.. I hope you found someone who is more on your level.
Please see my comment to Jane above. And have a nice day!